Sad.

Well, I found out this morning that the child with the one-on-one is no longer coming to our class.  It's about 99% a sure thing.  This made me feel really, really sad.  Of course, I couldn't show it on the outside.  I'm more of a keep-my-emotions-inside kind of a person.  I'm a psychology major.  I listen to people's problems.  I don't talk about my own.  Also, I think it's really inappropriate to bring your personal stuff to work and I love my job, so I kept my sadness at bay.  But it was there, underlying everything all day.

I thought going to the gym for some weight training therapy would help.  I pounded out 2.2 miles and then went to the platform to do some heavy deadlifts.  Deadlifts are my favorite weight training exercise because they work everything and I feel like a badass.  They usually cheer me up, especially when I can pick up 185 lbs off the ground.  That's me plus another small child!  Well, I got done with my routine and I only felt a little bit better.  I think Wednesday is going to be really hard.

Trying to deadlift my way out of the funk.

I got home and ate my usual snack of grapes and strawberries and an egg.  I cut back on the protein shakes because I felt like my kidneys weren't really appreciating all of the protein I was eating.  Moe was waiting for me like he always does.  I got him right after the ex and I broke up and I was the saddest I've ever been in my entire life.  I hated sharing Milo, so I decided to get a dog that I could have all to myself.  Moe was the perfect choice.  He is just such a huge lover.  Everyone who ever meets him says how much they love him and want to steal him.  Most people say, "I usually hate little dogs, but he's a good one!"  He has a way of knowing exactly when you're sad and making sure you're okay.  He's fantastic.

Trying to cheer me up.

My mood got better when boy and I started making dinner.  We talked and laughed as we usually do.  I made fajitas and salad and he made kale chips and chopped the watermelon.  I made my fajitas into a huge taco salad because I try really hard not to eat grains.  It happens sometimes, but I avoid them most days of the week.  I also don't eat gluten, and the only tortillas we have in the house are flour.

Cutting up some watermelon.

My massive taco salad.

After I ate, I definitely started feeling less sad.  We were all laughing and joking.  I remembered that this isn't the end of the world.  I've been in this classroom for 5 years and it feels like my home.  I knew that it would be ending this year as I embark on my journey to become an actual teacher.  I just don't do well with change.  I will cry.  I will be sad.  But then I will start school and I will have a new normal.  Until then, I will be happy that I have a job that makes me cry when I think about leaving it.  Not everyone is that lucky.

I leave you with a picture of Moe and my mom at dinner tonight.  He's the most spoiled dog in the world.