Thank You!

Thank you all so much for your kind words on my race on Sunday!  You mean the world to me and your comments brightened my day.  I was feeling a little down on myself for giving up at the end, but you guys made me feel like a rockstar!  There's a reason I keep blogging and it's because of my blends!  I love each and every one of you from my bottom of my heart.  Here are a few pictures of me along the course.

The very beginning.  

This was mile 12.  I was pretty much dead here.

The finish line!  I do not remember doing this AT ALL.  I was done.

So where have I been since?  After the race I laid in bed for most of the afternoon.  I worked on homework and had dinner with my dad, but that's about it.  On Monday, I woke up sore.  I've never been sore from running before.  I usually get sore after a good weight lifting session, but never from running, even on my long run days.  But my shins and calves were KILLING me.  

I got to the gym right at 4:30, so naturally I went to my circuit class.  It was a lighter day, so I tried to run on the treadmill afterward for a recovery run at a really slow (for me) pace.  I gave up after six tenths of a mile because I was done.  I lifted a little more and called it a day.

Yesterday, I knew I had a very long day ahead of me.  I thought about waking up early to hit the gym for approximately 9 seconds before I decided that was a terrible idea.  That meant I didn't get to the gym until about 6:30.  PM.  I am never at the gym this late.  Luckily, since the days stay lighter longer, I pretended that it was my normal 3:00 hour and worked out like usual.  I ran 4 slow miles and my legs were happy.  But I looked like this afterward.

Today, was another circuit day.  I have to say thank you to my body also.  My body keeps me healthy through an entire year of hard-core school, student teaching, daily workouts, and constant bashing from my brain.  I feel blessed every. single. day.  

Lots of big changes have also happened this week.  I switched placements.  It was sudden and I was very sad to not be able to say goodbye to my students.  I really, really loved the middle school and if a job opens up for next year, I am jumping on that.  But, an opportunity came up that would have been terribly stupid of me to say no to.  Unfortunately, it's pretty confidential, but let's just say, I'm a happy camper.  And I am so, so, so grateful for the opportunity.  It's one that most people do not get.  I also passed my test!  I got the results today, so that is a weight off of my shoulders.  

So thank you.  Thank you for reading.  Thank you for commenting.  Thank you to my body for keeping me healthy and uninjured.  Thank you to the people who have given me a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  I am just filled with gratitude.

For what are you thankful?

Avenue of the Giants Half Marathon Race Recap

So, I made a last minute decision yesterday to sign up for this half marathon again.  We have two marathons/half marathons a year.  Both are on the exact same course.  I didn't run it in October, so the past week I had been obsessively checking the weather and checking in with myself to see if I wanted to re-run the same course as last year.  Turns out, I did.

Last week was extremely hot.  Like, not just hot for North Coast wimps like me, but hot for normal people everywhere.  Thursday it was 86 degrees!  With about 2000% humidity.  I think that's the highest it's ever been here ever.  I stayed in and ran on the treadmill all week because just walking outside felt as though I was trying to breathe underwater.

Hot weather doesn't last very long around here, so I assumed it would cool off by the time race day rolled around.  Of course, the forecast was rain.  We don't get rain in weeks, and the first time it's supposed to is the day I want to run a race.  That's how life works. 

I decided to suck it up, since it was a 50% chance, and I shouldn't be such a weather baby.  Boyfriend and I drove down to the packet pick-up because since I had waited way too long, online registration was closed.  I spent the rest of the day doing close to nothing because I wanted my legs to be ready for the big day.  My only goal was to beat last year's time of 1:52:32.  We arrived at the race about 30 minutes before the 8:45am start time.  My mom parked in this mess while I did the runner ritual of porta potty visit.

It was time to line up before I knew it.  My mom took the obligatory pre-race photo of me being way more nervous than I really needed to be.  Yes.  The arrow was purposely pointing at my head.  My mother said, "Stand the other way so that we don't get the porta potties in the background."  I told her they had to be there.

After someone sang The Star Spangled Banner, the air horn was blown and we were off.  While standing at the start line, I made a new friend.  He asked me how many halves I had done and I told him this was my second.  He told me this was his fourth and he just wanted to beat his best time, which was 1:53.  Then I asked him how old he was.  He's 14.  He was adorable!

The first few miles flew by.  I was running right next to a woman about my age.  I didn't mean to pace with her, but she was keeping a good pace.  I wanted to talk to her, but I am always a little concerned about bothering people.  Sometimes they just don't like to talk while they run.  I eventually pulled ahead and started running with an older woman who was extremely fast and ended up leaving me in the dust.  I made the mistake of not running with water this year, so I was extremely thirsty by mile 5.  I started grabbing water at every station on the way back.

My mom met me at mile 10.5 again this year.  She actually saw me and did not have to sprint ahead of me to get photos.  It's always such a nice pick-me-up when I see people I know.  I also passed by a few friends on the course while I was heading back and they were heading to the turn-around point.  I always cheer for them and they cheer back and we all get a good morale boost.

When I passed that sign in the background, all I could think was, "Thank God I'm not running to San Francisco."  This was my favorite photo of the entire race.  It shows just how thirsty I was.  I almost mowed her down for her cup of water.  ;-)

When mile 12 finally came, I couldn't believe I was almost done.  As much pain as I was in, I still didn't feel as though I had been running that long.  I will be honest and I did walk up a couple of hills during this mile.  My favorite part about this mile was passing two 10-year-old boys who were doing the 10k.  I heard one of them say, "I can't wait be done and collapse!"  My thoughts exactly, kids!  I didn't really finish strong, but I was beat.  My legs were throbbing and my mouth was dry.  I know my mistakes for next time.  I did head into the finish chute very strong and sprinted to the end.

My mother had driven back from meeting me on the race course and she was running her own marathon from the car to try and see me finish.  She missed me, so I had to pretend I was finishing again so that she could get a picture.

My dad and step-mom were there at the finish!  It was so exciting to see them and high-five.  It meant a lot that they drove down to watch me finish.  They also got to see the winner of the marathon.  He blew by me when I was at mile nine of my race.  He finished in about 2:20ish... yeah, he blazed by. My mom is always at my races, and boyfriend was, unfortunately, working today.  I told him he should bring the ambulance and park it at the race.  No one would question it! 

Someone was looking out for me because the rain didn't start until about 10 minutes after I finished.  We still had to walk to the car in the downpour, but at least I wasn't still out on the course.  I did stop under the bridge for a finish picture.

About my goal.  I kind of blew it out of the water.  I was just trying to beat 1:52:32.  I would've been happy with a one second PR.  Turns out, my official time is 1:41:23.  It's really amazing what a year of training can do!  I came in 7th in my age group (out of 133), 21st woman overall (out of 764), and 88th out of 1155 runners!  I am so happy with my time!  

Avenue of the Giants is a beautiful course.  There's not a lot of crowd support, but the ones who are out there are amazing.  The big trees and big PR made my day.

Does anybody else wait until the very last second to sign up for a race, or is that just me?

My Happy Place

I got to sub today in my old classroom.  As I have said over and over and over again, this classroom will forever be my home.  It's like a big family reunion when I go back.  Nothing has changed at all.  I was helping get stuff ready for their graduation and I went through about 6 million pictures finding old ones of the graduates.  I also found some old ones of myself, so naturally, I had to send them to myself.

The thing I noticed the most about these pictures was how happy I looked in every single one of them.  I worked at in this classroom for 5 years.  During those five years, I experienced the worst break up of my life.  There were days when I thought I wasn't going to make it out of bed, but I had my work family and the students.

Work became my happy place.  It's where I knew I could go and have no memories of the ex boyfriend.  I knew no one would poke and prod me and ask about my day.  All I had to focus on was educating students.  It was here, I found myself and my passion for teaching was ignited.

It was here that I fell in love with the moderate to severe population.  I saw what they could do when there were high expectations set for them.  Had you asked me when I was growing up if I would want to work in Special Education, I would have probably said no.  But thanks to my happy place, a fire was ignited.

Since I left my happy place, I have found new happy places.  The school I am placed at now is a new happy place.  I wake up every single day excited to go to work.  The kids motivate me to be the best teacher that I can because I know that's what they deserve.  It also feels good to know that I am able to have other happy places.  That means that this job is what I am meant to do.  I am meant to educate students who have a hard time learning in traditional ways.  I am meant to modify curriculum, write IEPs, work closely with my collogues to make sure each of my student's individual needs are meant.  

I was born to be a Special Education teacher.  The classroom, any classroom, is my happy place.  And I am so thankful that I've found it.

Where's your happy place?

Huge

I am a fan of keeping things honest on here.  No one's life is one hundred percent cheery and happy all of the time.  It can really seem that way on the internet, however.  So by keeping things honest, I am going to tell you that I have been having a lot of really low self-esteem days.  I look in the mirror and hate what I see.  I believe during my last melt down, the word I used was "huge."

Cringe-worthy, I know.

Growing up, I was chunky.  I was made fun a lot for it.  My parents always told me I was beautiful.  My sister thought I was the most beautiful girl to walk the planet.  But somehow, some way, I fell into the trap that most young girls fall into.  I saw myself as ugly and huge.  When I got to be almost 170 pounds, I decided to do something about it.  I thought this would make me feel happy and confident in myself.  I got down to 123 pounds, which is not underweight for my height, but it certainly did not look healthy at all.  And I still saw "huge."

Now, I am in the best shape of my life.  I am able to run miles and miles without stopping.  I kick butt in Crossfit classes.  I can pick up really heavy things and set them back down again.  I have muscle definition in my arms.  My legs are beautiful.  And yet, I still look in the mirror and see "huge." 

I go through days like this.  Weeks even.  Then, something happens and things get put into perspective.  This time, I climbed a mountain.  As I looked out over the millions of trees and the gigantic ocean, I realized that I am not huge.  I am quite small.  I am just a grain of sand in the middle of a million other grains of sand.  

There is far more to me than just the parts that jiggle on my body.  I'm kind.  I'm compassionate.  I'm generous.  I like to think I'm funny.  Just because I can't see those things in the mirror, it doesn't mean they don't matter.  They matter more than whether or not I have a muffin top over my pants.

That goes for all of us.  Each and everyone of us is beautiful.  We all have amazing things about ourselves that make us unique.  We all have traits that we can't see in the mirror that make us who we are.  We are not huge.  In fact, compared to most things, we are quite small.  The ocean is huge.  The earth is huge.  The stars are huge.  The universe is huge.  I am not huge.  You are not huge.

I think Kimya Dawson says it best.  We should all live by her words:

"If you ever hear someone
Say you are huge look at the moon, look at the stars, look at the sun
Look at the ocean and the desert and the mountains and the sky
Say I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye"

How Is It Sunday Already?

I swear these weeks keep going faster and faster. Suddenly it's Sunday and I'm preparing for Monday all over again. This weekend went so fast. Friday I began housesitting for some friends and I was in charge of their poor sick dog. We picked her up from the vet and hung out with her all weekend.

Saturday morning, I spent time with the dog and did some important things, like my resume. Jobs have started being posted, so I'm on a deadline now. I left boyfriend to hang out with the pup while I spent two hours at the gym with my leading lady.

We worked our butts off. Well, we did arms and abs. I cannot lift my arms this morning. The rest of the night I spent being Domestic Debby.

I made beans from scratch, brown rice, and steamed vegetables. I felt so accomplished. I topped it with Braggs Liquid Aminos, which I may or may not have a slight obsession with.

Today, my friend asked if we wanted to adventure with her. I haven't been in nature for awhile and was really needing a large dose of it. I was able to run 10.5 miles before we left for the hike.

It was lovely out. Not too hot and not too cold. We hiked our favorite spot called Strawberry Rock. This is the view you're rewarded with at the top.

Of course, we feel like rockstars at the top.

I tried getting a good picture of us, but I just ended up looking like a goober.

I love the great outdoors. It is really good for my soul.

This is the rock that we literally have to crawl up. I should take up rock climbing.

We also had to pose for our annual kiss-on-the-cheek photo. Words cannot describe my love for this woman.

You may have noticed my purple Under Armour jacket. I recently purchased that at a garage sale for ONE dollar. Best purchase ever. The night ended with Sunday brunch for dinner since my dad has been out of town for two weeks.

Watermelon season is my favorite season. I am now heading to bed. Have an amazing Monday!

Do you need nature to survive?

Artists

Congratulations to all of the people who ran Boston on Monday!!! I love all of the recaps so much!!!

My muse has left me. I'm not sure where it went, but by the time I get home at night, I can't even concentrate on blogging. If I were a real blogger, I'd have drafts saved for the days when I just feel tired and all I have to do is hit publish.

School is winding down. We only have one class on Tuesdays now until the end of the semester in the middle of May! This Tuesday my friends and I decided we should probably just quit the program and become artists. 

Oh wait. No. Teaching is definitely what we should stick with.

With all of this free time, one would assume I would be spending my time finishing up projects and papers that are due soon. Well, after studying for a straight week and then taking the test on Monday, I am drained. After the test I wandered around in a daze. I even took a shower and realized halfway through that I hadn't turned the light on or shut the door.... Needless to say, I fell asleep at 8:30 on Monday night and slept until my alarm went off.

Wednesday, it was pouring down rain, so I went to my dad's house and did mile repeats on the treadmill. Those hurt. So badly. I had Friends to keep me company, but it was the last episode, so I had to turn it off before I started crying. It's only been 10 years. Still too soon.

Today, I came home from the gym and did nothing productive. Then boyfriend asked if I wanted to take the dogs for a walk, so of course I said yes.

I had already run 5.5 miles, so I just walked at a leisurely pace. Malcom, however, got his cardio on and pulled boyfriend 3 miles.

Milo also got a little cardio in by trying to keep up with them. 

When I came home, I found this waiting in the freezer for me. 

Now, I am actually going to knock out some school work. Let's just hope we don't have an art assignment due.

Can you draw?